I originally received this page in a Spam Message that I received. Since receiving this email, I developed the SpamZapper for my Company, ABS Computer Technology, Inc.. Since we know how to eliminate the Spam messages, I've posted this here for your enjoyment.

Albert E. Whale, CHS CISA CISSP

Technology for Country Folk

LOG ON:

Making a wood stove hot

LOG OFF:

Too much wood on fire

MONITOR:

Keep'n an eye on the wood stove

DOWN LOAD:

Gitten the farwood off'n the truck

MEGA HERTZ:

When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood

FLOPPY DISC:

Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood

RAM:

That thar thang what splits the farwood

HARD DRIVE:

Gitten home in the winter time

WINDOWS:

Whut to shut when its cold outside

SCREEN:

Whut to shut when its black fly season

BYTE:

Whut dem dang flys do

CHIP:

Munchies fer the TV

MICRO CHIP:

Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag

MODEM:

Whatcha do to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX:

Ole Dan Matrix's wife

LAP TOP:

Whar the kitty sleeps

KEYBOARD:

Whar you hang the dang truck keys

SOFTWARE:

Dem dang plastic forks and knifes

MOUSE:

What eats the grain in the barn

MOUSE PAD:

That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives

MAINFRAME:

Holds up the barn roof

PORT:

Fancy flatlander wine

ENTER:

Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all"

CLICK:

Whut you hear when you cock yer gun

DOUBLE CLICK:

When you cock the double barrel

REBOOT:

Whut you have to do right before bedtime, when you have to go to the outhouse